Magnolia found out when she was 9...mainly because we are terrible at the Tooth Fairy thing. We forget, we lose teeth, we forget some more, then we forget again. We always said that we weren't going to straight up lie to the kids about anything, and if they asked us direct questions, we'd answer truthfully, with the idea that when they get older, this would translate into them feeling safe about trusting us to be honest with them...an idea certainly appealing once they become teenagers. So, the tooth fairy forgot (again) and Magnolia asked. And since she asked, I was honest with her. Unfortunately, she lost her shit. LOTS of crying. Through the tears, she blubbered "What about the Easter Bunny?" at which point I told her. Renewed hysterical sobbing...then "And Santa?". Fearful of the onslaught, I lied. A few days later, once she had calmed down, she asked again about that one, and I was honest. She took it reasonably well. She then became very concerned about her brother not knowing the truth and over the next couple of years put on an incredible show, which made the inevitable truth even harder with him...as he is a person who loves facts and information. But the years passed, the tooth fairy bungled again, and one fateful day, he tested his theory before even asking the question, and we were caught before we even got asked. *The* question was then asked, with several follow up questions...and the truth came to light. When his father later asked how he felt about knowing the truth, Max's matter of fact answer was "I'm glad you guys told me because otherwise when I grow up and have kids, I wouldn't have known I was supposed to DO all this stuff!!" Perfect.
So, once your kids "know"...and especially if you're Unitarian Universalists (spiritual agnostics) and don't actually "believe" in the "reason for the season" (although your families celebrate it)...what do you do? Last Easter was the first one where both kids *knew*. And they both begged me to pretend like they didn't know because they still wanted presents and candy. I gave in, even though it's a lot of work on a weekend when I already have a lot of work to prepare for not one, but TWO family gatherings. This year, I was in a bit of denial right until we got until the day before...when both kids pleaded again for the candy...when I explained we could go BUY the candy they wanted when it was 50% the day after Easter, Magnolia groused that she liked the TRADITION of it...and that Max waking her up early in excitement was the thing she liked the most. Heart warmed by an unusual display of sibling love, this Grinch decided SOMETHING should be done. Both kids had mentioned how much they'd miss the chocolate bunnies. So, in between baseball and softball games, rehearsal, an audition, and a shopping for a BBQ we were hosting that evening, I went to the store to buy a few bits of Easter joy. That night, I decided that baskets and egg hunts at home were out (they'd have one at each Grandparents' house later), but something needed to replace it. In a moment of brilliance, I decided on a new tradition, and since both kids are old enough to process a letter, and since the waking up early part is better when they don't involve US, I wrote out a letter to both of them, which Michael typed up and printed up 2 copies, so that we could personalize each one. We've started a new tradition, one they were both excited by and happy with...and one that will make me finally comfortable with this celebration. Each kid got a few chocolate eggs, peeps, a small chocolate bunny, some money, and this letter, along with personal notes to each one by each of us. This is something I feel comfortable with.
Dear Magnolia and Max,
We decided, as the years passed where make believe bunnies bring you treats, that it's time to transition our traditions into one that makes good for the years to come.
"Easter" is celebrated by Christians all over the world to honor the idea that Jesus rose from the dead as a way to forgive us all for all our sins as humans...but long before Jesus of Nazareth died on the cross, spring brought the celebration of "Ostara", a celebration of fertility and rebirth, of Mother Earth coming out of her winter sleep to bless us all with new life- celebrations filled with eggs and rabbits and babies and animals to symbolize fertility and spring- new life. As you can see, all these years, we've actually been celebrating Ostara. We still think it's important to honor spring, the rebirth of the earth, the renewal of hope, life; the celebration of blooms, babies, bunnies and the sweetness of life- these are things we feel never will go out of style.
With this in mind, we provide you with your new Ostara tradition. You'll see on the table gifts for each of you. Candy, to represent how sweet life is and how delicious it can be. Money, to wish for your prosperity in the coming yer and for years to come. Baby animals (represented by peeps) to remind you of the rebirth of the earth and the importance to respect all living things. And a chocolate bunny, to remind you of your childhood past, a reminder that even as things change, they can also stay the same.
We give you these gifts in the hopes that you remember these things, that you celebrate traditions, old and new, that you continue to appreciate and support each other and the rest of our family to make sure we are always give the best of ourselves to the world, and that you enjoy this day and the coming year.
