Daddy's Girl

There are times where my life is very confusing. I can imagine that reading about it may be even more so. I have a dad, who is technically my stepdad, who is legally my actual father, because he adopted me when I was 20, after being in my life since I was 8. As the adoption announcement he sent out stated- We will be in fact what we have long been in reality, father and daughter. I love him and all his eccentricities, his quirkes, his talents, his abilities, and his nobility. Never have a met a more trustworthy, honest, decent man...and he's a lawyer. This of course, made me not understand everything that is said about lawyers until I was an adult and realized they just weren't all like my dad.

I also have a Biological father. He and I have always had a troubled relationship, due in large measure to, I think, a lack of communication. He lives close by but we don't see each other very much. I call him Biodad when I am talking about him, but I call him Daddy when I talk to him or about him with my siblings, also his children. He was once also an attorney, but a heart attack followed by a stroke followed by a series of unfortunate instances have left him unable to work for the last 10 years or so. He's not a bad person, and I know he loves me in his own way, but there have been a lot of shortcomings which I choose to blame on him, since he was the parent, and while I harbor no ill will towards him now, I doubt that we will ever be close. He's Biodad, and important in his own right...but he really isn't my "Dad".

I just got off the phone with my mom, who relayed a conversation she had with my Dad (stepdad, right? see? it's confusing sometimes) at lunch which made me basically burst straight into tears because what he said was so sweet and so loving, I was overcome by emotion. I feel so lucky to have this person in my life. So lucky to have someone so good love me so much. I often say that Michael has a lot of my dad about him...and sometimes it isn't me being very nice. They are both workaholics. It's true, and I hate it, but there is nothing I can do to change them. Either of them. But they share all of the positive traits too, and for that I am so thankful. As much as I insisted I would never marry someone like my father (adolescent frustration over the working), I kind of did. And after hearing the message from him today, I am reminded how lucky I am to have both of them in my life.