Being Legal

18 years ago this morning, I woke up with one thought in my head.  I wanted a new life.  I was done with the boy I'd been seeing for the previous 18 months.  Our relationship wasn't good for either of us, even considering the good parts.  I knew it was time to move on.  I hadn't been able to make the break, because our relationship was mostly a pretty easy one, built on friendship, common interests, and a strong physical connection, but we weren't meant for each other.  I was done with the string of relationships I'd been in for years. I wanted some freedom, a chance to just be me.  9 months out of college, a burgeoning freelance career, and all kinds of options awaited...but first, this day.  March 2nd.  I rolled over in bed and looked at an invitation for a party that my friend was throwing that evening and took note of the last line on the handwritten, "Xeroxed" invitation, "If there's a person you're supposed to meet, they will be there."  I rolled my eyes and sighed.  Oh, Gabe.  So optimistic.

18 years ago this afternoon I stopped by a community garden right by my apartment that had just put up a sign that it was FINALLY accepting applications for new members.  I dropped off my carefully written application and stood watching the sun start to make its downward trajectory and daydreamed about this new life of mine...I was sure to meet a bunch of fun crunchy granola types here and this would just be the start of this carefree, fun, without strings life I was about to start.  I knew big things were coming and headed home to make my potluck contribution for the party (had to be something that began with the first letter of your name...I was going to make "Noodles and Alfredo" cause I had already said I was going to bring the aforementioned boy and knew it was up to me to provide.  I figured I'd make a lot to make up for chintzing on the name thing.)

18 years ago tonight I arrived at the party, hot dish in hand, boy trailing behind...ready to meet new people.  I met an interesting redhead in the kitchen almost first thing...as I set down my dish.  He'd brought 2 different  dishes of Mac n Cheese, cause his name was Michael.  I felt a little dash of guilt.  My jacket still in hand, a friend popped her head in the door and took our picture.  The evening passed pretty quickly.  I was really enjoying talking to the redhead, but I wasn't sure if he was enjoying talking to me *quite* the same way.  Looking at the pleats on his J. Peterman pirate shirt, I was pretty convinced he wasn't.  There was a very pretty girl with a shaved head who I thought might be more interested in me, and I spent a little bit of time working on my girl flirting skills, which hadn't been successfully used in a couple of years.  Eventually the boy I came with let me know he was ready to go home, and while I wasn't, I grudgingly left to drive him home.

18 years ago right about now, I drove my kinda boyfriend home and asked him if I could come in, because I was weak willed and needy.  Thankfully he said no.  I drove around the corner where some of my friends, including my roommate, were getting ready for the midnight show of Rocky Horror.  My roommate and another friend of mine were standing outside the theater and I pulled up to say hi and to vent about my situation.  My roommate was tired of hearing me complain about the boy, and once they heard there were not one, but two potentially interesting people back at the party, they both insisted I backtrack and drive back over to the party.  So I did.

17 years, 11 months, 30 days, and 23 and a half hours ago I got back to the party, and much to my chagrin, the cute shorn girl was gone.  The redhead was still there, and it turns out, he WAS interested in me.  We ended up going to first base and the next morning helped clean up, exchanged numbers, and promised to stay in touch.  I remember walking back to my car and being decently annoyed.  I knew something WAS different, but it wasn't the kind of different I had planned.  I could tell that there was something very different about *this* boy.  Life was going to be different, but it wasn't going to involve me being carefree and single.  And it turns out, I was right.

That redhead is now my husband of almost 16 years.  He is the father of my children.  He is my best friend, my biggest fan, my most vehement supporter.  He's the person I most enjoy spending time with, the one I most admire...we are inextricably linked.  We have grown up together.  He can make me laugh with a word.  He knows me better than anyone.  And we're finally legal.  18 years since the day we met and started our life together.

Who knew Gabe would be right?