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I blog. I also mother, wife, create, preserve, recycle, cook, act, quilt, exercise, laugh, write, lolligag, work, volunteer, sing, and sometimes sleep.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

What's Next?

I'm finally joining the Screen Actor's Guild this week. It's been a long time coming!! I have been acting since I was 3, working on being a "working actor" as an adult in TV, Film, and Commercials since 2011, eligible for SAG since 2012, and just waiting until I HAD to join. That happened last week when I was cast on a new sitcom with just one day of shooting...not enough to cover my dues, but enough to get excited about, the acceptance of which meant I had to finally take the plunge. So I rallied some friends and family to help me cover the expense, and I filled out what felt like 20,000 pages of paper, and then spent the equivalent of 2 months of my mortgage to get my SAG card. I know I should be breathing a sigh of relief, but here's the thing...I don't know that actors ever get to do that.

When I came back to the world of theater after a post-college hiatus, the thing I noticed pretty quickly is how all conversations with actors or people in the business have the question "So, what's next for you?" in them. If you notice, even red carpet announcers and late night talk show hosts do it. If you're not in a show, you should be rehearsing a show, or preparing for an audition, or waiting to hear back from some project you worked on, or something.

My main background is theater. TV and film is such a funny, different world. No idea what is coming next at this point, I find out about auditions mere hours before, and booking is next to impossible.  I'd love to be at the point in my TV and film career where there is even an answer to that question... but right now, all I know, all I have some kind of control of is live theater.

I closed my last theater show in July.  I had an incredible start to the year...2 dream plays and a dream role in a third...When people asked me what was next, I was honest and said that after 3 back to back shows I needed to have a little hiatus to spend summer vacation with my kids and that I wanted to be writing my one woman show...summer turned to fall and I got busy sewing, as I do.  When I auditioned for a show in November, I was pretty certain I was going to get it...a part I'd be great for, a director I love who loves me back, and a theater I've worked at...and I didn't get it.  Couldn't have lost the part to a better actress, so that part was fine, but if I'm going to be honest, it messed with my mojo more than not getting a part usually does.  The universe tried to fix my mojo by offering me an unexpected part in another show a few days later, but I wasn't able to take it because of conflicts, and I decided it was time to put my head down, focus on writing MY show, and to take some time to REALLY do all the things my agents keep asking me to do. I've had a few other auditions that haven't worked out since then (one absolutely mortifying) and it's been a bit disconcerting...but at least now I have an answer to the question that seems to appease people: "Next, I'm spending some time focusing on TV and film work."  That seems to satisfy folks, but I don't know how much it satisfies me...especially when I think that the "what's next" questioning will NEVER END.  I mean, Meryl Streep gets asked this question!  Is there any other career where people ask "what's next for you?" ?  Maybe an attorney after they try a huge case, a doctor after they perform a crazy surgery?  A teacher when she is done with her school year?  I mean, I get it...we are never done.  We are actors, we are performers, we are artists...our creative work is never done.  If a person says they're "retiring", people scoff.  You're not allowed to rest...and I think for actors and performers, they call it "retirement" so that people STOP ASKING THE DAMN QUESTION.  I mean, it sucks that even if you get cast in a long running show as a recurring character, it will end.  And then people will ask.  But that's okay with me for now.  I WANT to have a "what's next" and a "what's next after that".  After all, I'm union now.

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