Le Show

It could be construed as nightmarish...Kung Fu FIghting blares over the DJ's speakers, renegade fluffs of cotton candy waft through the air, attempting to thwart my attempts to my items clean, making cheerful smalltalk with strangers who may truely like my items, or might just be trying to steal my ideas, no bathroom breaks for hours...yes, folks, I am at a craft fair. Well, actually, that's generous. I am at an elementary school's spring festival fundraiser. And while the turn out is impressive, people aren't really here to buy crafts.

I don't know why I always get so wildly optimistic about these things...I spent the better part of the prep time before making a crapload (30) hooded towels. It's an elementary school, I think. They'll be clamoring for them! I could sell out! They're so awesome! Turns out, the only clamoring is over more tickets for the damned cotton candy machine.

But still, it's ok. A friend texted me to see how it was going and I responded with "slow, but (ultimately) not surprising". As optimistic as I get before these things begin, I am too soon reminded of the reality of them. People look at my booth (if I'm lucky) and say "OH! How cute! Everything is so CUTE!" followed by "too bad my kids are too old for any of it!" Oh yeah? What about coffee cozies? What about tote bags? Or fabric gift bags? Or re-useable lunch bags? Your kids are too old to LOVE THE EARTH, motherfucker? Ahem. And don't even get me started on how I'm sure you never have a freaking baby shower to go to. No, no, it's fine. But I smile, and say something friendly about taking my card, if they'd like, in case any baby showers come up. Sometimes they take one and move on and that is how the day goes. Today I got dissed by a 7 year old whose dad asked- hey honey, wouldn't you like an apron for when you are cooking with mom? She wrinkled her nose and said disdainfully "I don't need an apron!". Ok then.

Texting back my friend, I said what is true- It could be worse. I am sitting in the shade, in a comfy chair on a beautiful day, knitting...the music isn't terrible (even Kung Fu Fighting meant I didn't have to listen to the insipid DJ), the world smells of BBQ and Cotton Candy, and who knows, someone may buy something sometime.

It's funny, I've never not made back a vendor fee. I usually do better than the folks around me...it's the swarming that rarely happens except in my pre-show fantasies. But today, the chick in the booth to my left, whose business name is "Ugly, probably lead infested crap from China", is buzzin' while my booth is dead. My vendor fee is recovered, the 2 bucks Michael had to promise to Magnolia's bff to get him to loan us the 20 bucks I needed for change is recovered, the money I've given to my kids for snocones and gameplay was recovered, and there is still an hour left.

I ended the day with a dent in the fundraising campaign for new kids' dressers, and at least one potention scrapbook quilt custom order. Now I remember why I do these. :)