Fear and Loathing

I have been thinking a bit about fear. Once, in a pre-blogging blog, I wrote about what happens when you face the people or situations which you admire (or to some degree, fear). I tried to link it here, but evidentally the source is broken. (For you long time readers, think back to the Bernadette Peters entry from my trip to Italy blog) I have had this happen to me but I don't think I have learned enough to consistently extrapolate it into life.

In the last few weeks, and more importantly, hours, I have realized that my Voldemort is stupid. Really, really dim. I have feared, made life decisions, had personal image issues, and during a time of teenage melodrama and angst- tried to take my own life, based on things I was told by my own personal he-who-must-not-be-named. And even though the demon was vanquished over 2 decades ago, it was always with me...in the back of my mind, whispering those evil thoughts in the back of my brain. And if it sounds as though I am speaking in code, I am. With reason. As Voldemort has returned and as I just figured out, he is not the sharpest took in the shed, but he might just read my blog.

In related news, it turns out God is unhappy. Not your god...a different one, I guarantee. Still, he is unhappy to a degree, and very very human. Also, quite possibly as big of a dork as I am and completely fun and nice, after all. Isn't that weird? (I don't know, Ariella, because you're still talking in code and it is kind of confusing to figure out what on earth you are referring to). Well, let me assure you: it is weird!

So what is all of this about fear and loathing? Shhhhh. It means nothing. Fear of other people, loathing people, envy, holding on to what people may say or worse even, what they think, is meaningless, worthless, and really really bad for you! I am going to free myself from these chains that have held me for almost 3 decades. I am done worrying about "them". I just figured out that them is just one of us after all. And at least one of them is stupid.